You'll Never Walk Alone
by Emily Raij
Chaplain John Edwards grew up Baptist, served in the Marines, was a Christian missionary in the Philippines, and pastored in Texas. So how did he end up leading a grief support group for Jewish Pavilion Senior Services (JPSS)?
The path may not have been predictable, but John’s life experiences, professional education, and compassion have made him uniquely qualified to help guide those in the Jewish community who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
During his years as a pastor, John studied clinical pastoral education, learning how to provide spiritual and pastoral care to patients, families, and staff in clinical settings. He was a chaplain intern at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland before moving to San Antonio, Texas, where he became a home team chaplain for VITAS Healthcare. After moving to Sanford last year, John continued to work for VITAS, where her currently serves as the bereavement manager and hospice chaplain.
“I got passionate about support groups and helping people on their grief journey,” says John, a 56-year-old married father of four.
That’s how John crossed paths with Nancy Ludin, CEO/executive director of the nonprofit JPSS. John had been conducting grief support groups at One Senior Place, a resource and information center providing services and referrals to seniors and caregivers. JPSS has been offering free grief support groups to those in the Jewish community for 15 years, with sessions offered twice a year in the spring and fall.
Nancy was looking for someone to lead a JPSS grief support group after the previous facilitator, Judy Kahan Davis, had to take a break. Judy, a social worker, is the former executive director of Kinneret Apartments, where she created the organization now known as JPSS.
“Jewish Pavilion provides a very important services to those grieving a loss by continuing to offer this support group,” says Judy. “It gives them the opportunity to see they are not alone in the mourning process. Knowing they are not alone is very comforting. All people experience loss differently, but all seem to be extremely grateful for the chance to relieve themselves of their thoughts and feelings and share them with others.”
Grief is universal
JPSS strives to maintain a record of everyone who passes away in the local Jewish community and reaches out to families and caregivers to offer support and recommend the group.
“We encourage attending the group after six months of grief,” says Nancy,” because when grief is really new and raw, it’s hard to make much progress.”
Although the group’s facilitators have previously been Jewish, John’s knowledge of Judaism, understanding of grief, and experience with chaplaincy allowed him to easily step in to replace Judy.
Most participants are grieving the loss of a spouse or partner, but the group also supports those dealings with the loss of a parent, child, sibling, or other loved one. Jewish materials are provided and Jewish mourning practices and values are honored and discussed, but grief is universal, as are the tools John uses to help people address their feelings.
“It’s really just dealing the person and their journey,” says John, “allowing the person to search out their journey and do some life review so they can be at peace.”
That focus on finding peace is particularly helpful for caregivers, who can find themselves feeling lost and searching for a new identity after th beloved on they have been caring for is gone.
Providing a safe space
A grief support group can make a huge impact after experiencing the loss of a loved one, as can friends, hobbies, work, and volunteering. The JPSS support group sessions run for five weeks. Each meeting lasts for on-and-a-half hours, and most groups have six to eight participants.
“It’s a safe space,” says John, “and you can say what you want to say without judgement.”
“All people experience loss differently, but all seem to be extremely grateful for the chance to relieve themselves of their thoughts and feelings and share them with others.”
Gail Coverman, who participated in JPSS’s most recent support group, appreciated John’s leadership approach and kindness. Her husband of 51 years, Dr. Randall Coverman, passed away in December, and she was also dealing with the previous loss of her twin sister.
“John is such a warm human being, so accepting, and so tolerant,” says Gail. “And, the camaraderie of the group really helped.”
Adds Gail, “When my husband first passed, I was relieved because he suffered a lot. And I suffered being his primary caregiver for eight years. It was an honor to take care of him, but it also was very, very difficult. The group really gave us a starting point as to how to begin to pull things together for ourselves and how to reach out to each other.”
Over the session’s five weeks, participants discussed the emotions they were struggling with and their fears. They also held a memorial service, where those in the group brought in photos of their loved ones and shared treasured memories about them. John also helped everyone visualize what the dawning of a new day could look like after the darkness of death, empowering them with new tools to manager their grief. Often, he notes, participants form strong bonds and keep in touch with one another after the session ends.
“You literally can see the countenance change on these people,” says John. “They will verbalize that they see joy and hope.”